Teeth (Not the Zadie Smith Novel)

I don’t feel like complaining too much about Burton’s Alice in Worderland. Yes, the animation is just plain ugly. The story is unimportant. The Cheshire Cat has too many teeth. It’s obvious both Disney and Burton have failed in their own field.
That said, Hollywood is full of ugly animation, unimportant stories, and teethed creatures. We know that, and we have a manifest responsibility: keeping away from the ugly, the unimportant, and the teeth.
In fact, I had avoided this (hardly) Alice at the cinema. I wasn’t interested in the 3D Italian version actually (3D makes my eyes ache, and makes me slightly nauseous). I preferred to wait for the DVD in English anyway. Now that I’ve heard the Caterpillar speaking with the voice of Alan Rickman (and it’s been faux Lain again), I consider myself finished with this film, and can move on. To tell you the truth, I haven’t been able to love a single film by Tim Burton in the last ten years (I liked Corpes Bride and Sweeney Todd, yet I didn’t love them), so I prefer to move on and hope there will be another film, and it will be beautiful. After all we’re still living on the same planet, Tim Burton and me, he’s still a film maker, and I’m still the audience.

Now about the teeth. I have nothing about too long or too numerous teeth, mind you. Actually, I saw Nosferatu twice at the cinema (once with live piano), I read Interview with the Vampire back in the Eighties when it was a forgotten book in the library smelling of mould, I’m a Buffy/Spike shipper, and I could tell you an old story involving both Alice and Nosferatu in the music of a Paul Roland from Kent, England.
But you know, time passes, girls forget about Nosferatu, Lestat marries Joey Potter, and one day, vampires suddenly begin to shine.
So mind the teeth, folks, the teeth, the ugly and the unimportant.

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