So I hear the Empire State Building will be lit in green and blue tonight to raise awareness for the NEDA National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. I used to be considered a candidate for an eating disorder, food being used as a weapon in the family, couple of relatives with ED, some ballet in front of all those mirrors, having to deal with a Mediterranean body type clad in figure skating dresses and tennis miniskirts, kind of sports junkie in my teens, had the opportunity to taste how powerful you feel when you’re consistently not eating enough for a a month or so. When I turned vegetarian people around me started to panic. I’m no longer exactly a vegetarian, since there’s the organic choice now, but still people look at me with suspicion, as I live in an area where you’re a weirdo if you haven’t eaten at least three different kinds of dead animals by aperitivo time.
Anyway, I believe the reason why I’ve never developed an ED is that I love myself a lot. I don’t entirely like myself or necessarily approve of all of my choices, but you know how true love is, you just can’t help it. I enjoy spending time in my own company and I tend to protect myself from harm, except for the occasional hedonistic tequila. Unfortunately, in order to function socially, a certain degree of harm is required, and that’s why I’m often not able to function socially.
There’s a lot of coaching stuff out there, telling you that in order to get rid of an ED you need to learn to love yourself, and that’s likely true. I don’t know how you do it. What I know for sure, is that society is not going to forgive you.