Dove’s new advert, Selfie, is so boring that I was halfway through it and I wasn’t even offended yet. It was the usual bunch of women whining that they’re not pretty enough. So Dove organizes this mom-daughter workshop and some kind of life coach teaches them how to redefine beauty by taking selfies. It was so lame I couldn’t even find a new reason to be outraged.

Then I asked myself, where are the men?

Yeah, the men, you know. Tall dark and handsome. Why aren’t they at the Dove workshop. I’ll tell you why. Because they’re out doing something more interesting and useful.

It’s not the Victorian age anymore you know, girls can go anywhere they want, yet what they want is still staying indoors to whine about beauty. And this is supposed to be empowering.

Examples of things men do over the afternoon while women redefine beauty.

– Baseball training. Baseball players are hot.

– Swimming. It’s healthy and it minimizes the risk of drowning in case one day you end up in the water.

– Porn. It’s relaxing.

– Sleeping. It’s relaxing.

– TV. It’s relaxing. Beer and sports especially.

– Videogames. They say they’re good to develop problem-solving skills.

– Studying. So you know, you learn something.

– Working. You get actual money out of it.